Video Testimony

Recently I video taped a testimony for my church.  I thought it was a deeply meaningful gesture to give testimony about

forgiveness and redemption.  I did not go to church the time it aired on our large announcement screen because I just did not want to see myself up there.  I did see it on a little screen and it did not feel meaningful at all.  It felt naked, real and way too revealing.  Should I have done it?  I don’t know because it was very painful to watch.

But the reality is that my first marriage began the moment his divorce was final from his first wife.  Would he have left her if he had not met me?  Who knows, he went back to her when our divorce was final and they are still together today.  Reality is that I have two wonderful and beautiful children from him, the younger of which lives with him now.   Reality is that he, his wife and their church are sending money to the orphanage in Mozambique each month.   So, there are both  negatives and a positives to my story.

Life is full of negatives and positives. 

Gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other and walk it out.

I was approached by a few people this week at church who “loved” my testimony and thanked me for sharing.  I graciously said thank you and tried not to make it a big deal by letting them know how awkward I felt.  It makes it worse when someone cannot accept a compliment, it just gets weird. So I just smiled and said thank you.

One friend in particular did say that he wished he had a testimony that good regarding his ex-wife.

  To him I replied,  “Just give it time.  Remember the testimony you saw was 24 years in the making and it was about husband #1, you haven’t seen anything about husband #2.”

We both laughed and laughed.

Long before the video shoot I was praying, soul searching and trying to decide what to say in the least amount of time.  I

was shocked to remember that all the way back in 1988 there was someone in college who told me that my dream of becoming a missionary would never be.  They said my heart was too soft, I could never be sent out into the world and trusted because I feel too much for people.  I believed him.  I quit college and returned to my little hometown defeated and lost.  I also told him no when he asked me to come back to college and marry him.  Already in my short life, his was the 2nd marriage proposal I had turned down – the next proposal I jumped at.  He was a preacher and I thought I would never go wrong marrying preacher. 

But, I guess I should have specified that I wanted a single preacher instead of a married one….. huh ladies?

Laugh it off girls, it’s life and we’ve lived it. 

Too late to hit the pause button now.