Perspective

I’ve been given permission to share this very personal story of sadness and hope. I offer it to you as a lesson learned. My hope is that it will open you up to see more than what is in front of you, to look at the bigger picture and allow God to be God – in sorrow and in joy.

My mother was raised in a large Arkansas Church of Christ orphanage with her younger sisters, from the ages 5, 7 & 9. None of the three experienced a good life at the hands of the abusive staff, each remained in residence until they graduated high school.  It was a hard childhood to say the least.

All of my growing up life I heard horror stories of that place.  My mother was deeply scared from the daily beatings she received. She also told severly sad stories of how others were treated with honor and allowed many opportunities in sports and music while others abused.

About 13 years ago my father rented us a beautiful mini-van and I  honored my mother, one of her sisters, and my young daughter by taking them to a “75th” reunion of the children’s home. It was nice to see them visiting with people from all over America as they all caught up with one another.  I was in the restroom when I overheard women talking and heard a very familar name so I quickly grabbed up the woman and ran her to my mother – they were so excited. It was a fun filled adventure.

After taking my aunt home to Oklahoma we headed home to Texas, my mother opened up about one connection that would change her life forever.  The woman in the bathroom that I brought to her happened to be the fortunate child that was given all the attention and opportunities that my mother had envied for the last 54 years.  Sadly, my mother heard that the grass was not greener after all.   The woman spoke of how much pressure she had performing as the poster child for the home all those years,  she became a horribly anxious person and had suffered a nervous breakdown in adulthood from all the trauma. She also told my mother how much envy she had as she would sit at a window and watch my mom and sisters visit with their mother on the steps of the dormatory.  What makes this heart breaking is that my mother had forgotten that the orphanage was 141 miles away and my grandmother would hitchhike to see them, the trip took her 2 days one way. She would come twice a year. The other woman’s mother – – – did not ever visit throughout her stay and she lived in the same town.

Think about this, living with evny and sorrow for over 50 years and then hearing how that person actually would have traded places with you given the chance.

That same weekend we met some of mom’s family that she never knew because she was “put away” from them.  It was a hard realilty for her to meet  them and realize that she had lived a much better life than she would have if she had been raised in the family. Her mother actually did the best thing for them in the situation.

Pain – Perspective – Forgiveness

This is not my mother and grandmother but I thought it fit the blog well.