I’m Sorry

I’m back. Today is the day that I finally said those two magic words!

I’m Sorry.

 What a relief. I blasted two different people in two separate conversations within a week of each other.  One was my teenage son, I’ve apologized and he’s forgiven me, the other was a fellow Christian who was harder to apologize to.

It took me 28 days to apologize, mainly because I could not think of what to say. Today I just picked up the phone and said……. “I’m Sorry”.  She accepted, we will remain friends.

I suffer from a fight response that makes me OVERREACT if I feel threatened or if I feel someone close to me is threatened.  I am hard to joke with, I take everything seriously. God has made me territorial for some reason but until He and I figure out the “when and where” I am trying to be more careful of the situations I put myself in.

I cause pain. I don’t even mean to. Sometimes I feel a little bit like the Hulk.  If you remember when he was on TV he would always say….. “Please don’t make me angry, you won’t like me when I’m angry.”  This was the way the audience would know that his temper was about to blow !!!! We couldn’t wait.

Yes, sometimes I am like this – an overload of Adrenaline.  I should have been a professional boxer – now that I know this side of my personality.

For those of you who are thinking, no, I could never see her do that……. just ask my two children, two husbands, my mother, father and a few friends who’ve gotten too close – (like trying to throw me a surprise birthday party many years back,  I thought she was having an affair with my husband).

So – crow is hard to eat and tastes bad but for those of us who blow up sometimes we have to eat it.  I told myself that I could not blog until both relationships were mended – – I can tell you that my shoulders are lighter and the depression that has plaqued me has lifted.

There is a freedom in admitting fault.  Remember the old TV commercial?

“How do you spell relief?”

It’s not ROLAIDS – it’s REPENTANCE !!