HOPE

Hope is my email code name within a close circle of friends.  I got an email yesterday that ended with “Thanks again for being the one who never gives up hope.”

Hope is a powerful thing. When you lose it you know it.  You have not heard from me in several weeks now, I have blogged many times but published nothing.  Every one was down trodden without an uplifting ending or a redeeming scripture to add. My hope was fading. Summer is over and my son has moved in with his father (husband #1 for those keeping track). He is now an hour away, in a school as big as a shopping mall and happy. When he made this decision I thought I would die.

I didn’t.

Fear, jealousy, envy, regret etc.. if I don’t stop the list will go on forever all about me.  But this is not about me this is about my son, our God and their future.  My ex husband actually said it best as I was fighting back tears and said I just feel like a failure…… he responded….

“How can you have failed? It’s not over.”

Such wisdom. Remember when I blogged about it being hard to receive.  Well, it’s really hard to receive from your ex-husband as your son is moving out of your house and into his. Yikes. But, it is wisdom and I did receive it.  That was very late July. Time does not stop. Life moves whether we want it to or not.

“What the caterpillar saw as the end the butterfly knew was the beginning.”

  My son is happy living in his new home and is excelling in the school there. I am alone in the rent house (well I still have the two dogs) but I am okay.  It was scary there for a little while but I have hope again.