Fear

I had a flashback recently as I sat in church praying about Why I struggle with self doubt, second guessing and low confidence?

There I was, in gym class 10 or 11 years old. In line with the class each one of us taking turns jumping over a “horse” which is a gymnastic piece of equipment.   Every other child in our class was able to jump over it in whatever way our coach directed.  And then there was me, I would run as hard as I could and hit it with my abdomen because my feet would not leave the ground.

Why? I still do not know.

But I do know that I have had to give forgiveness to the coach because she would make fun of me each time I TRIED – sometimes even before I tried.  She was very vocal which brought much heckling from my peers.  So, after each failure I would go to the back of the line and wait in complete torment until it was my turn again, then I would be the center of attention and FAIL.

Those times of torment in our lives follow us.  I never joined athletics and later on when the “hurdles” were placed in class I could not jump them either.

Fear of Failure?  Fear of Pain? Fear of Embarrassment?

I don’t know but I do know that my life still follows this same pattern.  I will run as fast as I can toward something and if I cannot OVERCOME it I will simply walk away.  Embarrassed.

This blog is not for you to feel sorry for me – it is to confess a fear, a past hurt in hopes that I can OVERCOME the obstacles in my present and my future.

If you have fears you are not alone.  Please don’t post them here as a comment unless you are okay with them going public.  You can email me privately if you want encouragement or prayer.

soapco@yahoo.com

If you have overcome your fears PLEASE pray and look around you – who is in your life that needs some attention and help in this area?     A little time can change someone’s life.

If she’s annoying that means she needs you even more than you know.

The devil tries to convince us that we are alone, the only one.  This is a lie – there are thousands or millions dealing with the same issues – right now.

I went to the front at church and had prayer with 3 members to agree with me for deliverance and deeper faith.

Facing My Fears – Praying for Deliverance – Changing My Future….

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Psalm 34: 1-5

34 I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth.

2 My soul shall make her boast in the Lord: the humble shall hear thereof, and be glad.

3 O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together.

4 I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.

5 They looked unto him, and were lightened: and their faces were not ashamed.